whores:

whores:

Don’t cry because its over

cry because you’re ugly

(via damn-funny)

slenclerman:

reasons to date me:
-i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes
-ive never killed a man (yet)
-i once got 95% on guitar hero
-you can play with my hair
-im cheaper than a puppy

(via ahrned)

sodamnrelatable:

(Source: , via thehilariousblog)

everydayimwholockin:

when you come back from an exam and everyone asks you how you did:

(via canyoumoveplease)

what do they call the god of sandwiches?

grilled chesus 

fuckyeahlaughters:

(Source: tommarvolohiddles, via sirens-pierce-all-alexandrias)

analprolapsing:

analprolapsing:

analprolapsing:

omg my dog just turned into a bagel wtf

you think i’m lying

(via fully---torqued)

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

3-2-1queer:

When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”

YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you

(Source: iseeavoice, via fully---torqued)

when you press backspace a few times in hopes of deleting text and then tHE BROWSER GOES BACK LIKE 5 PAGES

(Source: moved-to-jackoffrost, via viremi)